The Collected Wisdom and Whimsy of Janet A Chapman
A bunch of Expensive White Rum
a splash of simple syrup
muddle a supply of fresh mint
Freshly squeezed lime juice
a partial bottle of club soda
Muddle the mint in a shaker
add lime juice, rum, simple syrup and ice cubes
shake until your arm is sore
pour into a fine tall glass filled with crushed ice
add a small amount of club soda
garnish with a sprig of fresh mint leaves and a wedge of lime
Best served with good friends
The Red Pepper Princess and the Green Bean Queen
ate up all their veggies, both the red and green.
Now the Carrot Kid liked his pickles too,
and they all went together to the Vegetable Zoo.
They bought their tickets from a hot and fiery horse.
Do you know what he was made of? Horseradish, of course!
Overhead were fluffy clouds of whitest cauliflower
looking down on purple beet bunnies, doubling by the hour.
They spied Bibb lettuce butterflies on Brussels-sprouted bushes
where underneath hid squash snakes, squiggling on their tushes.
There were rutabaga rhinos running all around
dodging red radish roosters, popping from the ground.
One hundred giant cabbages made up the only elephant
(We won’t ask why–it’s hardly even relevant.)
They saw cucumber crocodiles swim thru a hoop
in a lake that was baked out of alphabet soup.
There were lettuce leaves on celery trees with sweet potato parrots,
and kangaroos, both big and small in suits of orange carrots.
I do believe they saw five lions–each an ear of corn
and at least three hundred pea hens, all just newly born.
The mashed potato pandas and the pumpkin polar bears
were kicking up their heels and knocking over chairs
as they pranced and twirled (‘til they could “bear-ly” stand,)
to the boogie woogie beat of the Broccoli Brothers’ Band.
A prickly pear porcupine? There’s one in every batch.
Can you guess who planted him in this veggie patch?
I suspect the mango monkeys from the Fruit Zoo just next door–
they love to play a trick or two to hear the animals roar!
What’s this I see? Could it be? A limpin’ lemur onion?
Oh, that’s what ails him–one giant onion bunion!
Off he must go to the hospital. The zoo has one most fine.
The Nanny goat nurses–cherry tomatoes freshly picked from the vine.
At the end of the day, it began to grow dark.
The zookeeper announced “Time To Close The Park.”
So the Red Pepper Princess and the Green Bean Queen
sailed back home in a zucchini submarine.
But what became of the Carrot Kid?
I hate to say this, but do you know where he hid?
He zipped himself up in a tasty pod of peas,
with his head sticking out just as big as you please.
He wanted to see what it was like after dark,
wandering alone in the Vegetable Park.
The zookeeper wasn’t fooled by his disguise–
He knew those pea pods shouldn’t have eyes.
The Carrot Kid put up a terrible fuss
when up walked an okra hippopotamus.
“You must take him home,” the zookeeper said.
“It’s time he had dinner and was put to bed.”
The Carrot Kid and the hippo ran fast!
When they arrived at his house at last–
he waved “goodbye”, then was bathed and fed.
(Veggies, of course,) and he popped into bed.
Jan Chapman
July, 1999
Cast Of Characters:
The Green Bean Queen: my granddaughter, Paige Katherine Filby. Then age 8,–now 27
The Red Pepper Princess: my granddaughter, Patricia Ann Filby-Dowley. Then age 6,–now 25
The Carrot Kid: my grandson, ,Paul Filby Jr. Then age.3,–now 23
When they were 8, 6, and 3, they could recite my poem from memory at bedtime!
I like to think that this little poem is one of the reasons they love their vegetables!
I had a variation of this made by my granddaughter, Patty when I visited their home in Colorado. It was awesome, and I must admit, I had never tasted orzo before. I think the secret to making a successful cold salad is that after the orzo is cooked, it must be rinsed repeatedly in cold water, otherwise it will be mushy.
I played around with the recipe a few times, and this is my finished version—however, it can be embelished so many different ways. A great way to use your imagination.
Orzo looks like a rice, but it’s actually a pasta.
Cook the orzo according to directions, but you want it to have a slight ‘bite’. Rinse repeatedly in cold water and drain in sieve.
I didn’t want to cook an entire 16 ounces of orzo, so I just used about a half cup dried, and about a cup of water. Brought the water to a boil, threw in the orzo, and salted it. Stirred until I felt the ‘bite’ was right.
For the sauce:
One tablespoon sherry vinegar
One tablespoon EVOO
One tablespoon squeezed lemon juice
Two teaspoons honey
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
Mix all together. If you use the entire 16 ounces of Orzo, then multiply this sauce many times over. It’s good to save some of the sauce to add later, as the orzo has a tendency to suck it up (so to speak!).
In a bowl, place the drained orzo, and stir in the sauce
Add shredded cooked chicken
Chopped green onions
Golden Raisins
Toasted pine nuts
Just a tad of salt
A hint of the Mediterranean–I will definitely make it my way and Patty’s way again, and my thanks to Patty for introducing this tasty dish to me.
By the way, in Patty’s version, she used the same sauce, (but eliminated the cinnamon,) added onions, pine nuts, chicken, chopped green onion, little red and yellow grape tomatoes chopped up small and drained in paper toweling to remove most of the seeds, Feta cheese, and lots of chopped fresh basil. No golden raisins either. It was sooo good, and I’d suggest you try her version as well.
I know there are many ways to make a pie crust, but to me, this is the flakiest of all the ones I’ve tried:
For a nine-inch pie–two crusts, although often I double the recipe to make “Whirligigs” with the leftover dough.
Two cups SIFTED Gold Medal Flour (that means, you sift the dry ingredients, THEN measure the two cups.)
1 tsp. salt
2/3 cups plus 2 T Crisco
1/4 C ice water
Put the sifted dry ingredients into a mixing bowl, and with a pastry plender, cut in the shortening until the shortening particles are the size of giant peas.
Sprinkle the ice water a tblsp. at a time, mixing lightly with a fork until all the flour is moistened.
Gather the dough together with your fingers and place on waxed paper, folding the paper around it and pressing firmly..
When ready, roll out on a floured pastry cloth, cutting it in a circle about an inch larger in diameter than the pie dish. Crimp the edges.
(If planning to bake the crust without a filling, make sure you add either dry beans, or ‘dock’ the bottom and sides to prevent swelling.)
WHIRLIGIGS
Always a favorite with children (and they can help.)
Gather the leftover dough into a ball and roll out on a pastry cloth. Cut to make a rectangle.
Spread softened butter over the entire surface and sprinkle liberally with cinnamon sugar.
Roll up tightly and cut into 1/3 inch slices.
Place on cookie sheet and bake at 400 degrees until golden brown.
Remove carefully and place each one upside down on a plate until cool, and then turn over. (The reason for placing the whirligigs upside down until they cool is that the bottoms will be ‘sticky’ and may stick to the plate.)
From the time he was a little boy, my oldest son, Mike, requested this pie rather than a cake with candles, for his birthday.
I have never cared for plain rhubarb pie–too bitter–nor have I had a penchant for rhubarb/strawberry pie, for it neither tastes like rhubarb or strawberries, but rather something indescribable!
Rhubarb custard pie, however, raises the bar, and the luscious addition of the custard only enhances the rhubarb.
Ingredients for a nine-inch pie:
Beat slightly 3 eggs
Add 3 T milk
Mix together and stir in:
2 cups sugar
1/4 Cup Gold Medal flour
1 tsp. freshly grated nutmeg
Mix in:
4 or 5 cups cut up pink rhubarb
Pour into a pastry-lined glass pie dish
Criss-cross the top crust and dot with butter
Line metal foil around the crimped edges for the first 20 minutes of baking
Bake about 50 minutes at 400 degrees.
(My favorite recipe for pastry dough is added in this category.)
I keep containers of black beans, canneloni beans, and edamame (I don’t really know if that’s a bean or not, but you get the idea.)
My favorite brand of black beans is Bush’s and I’ve tried them all.
Empty the can of beans into a sieve. Run cold water over them until the water comes out clean. Spread the beans onto paper toweling to drain. Salt fairly generously. Put in plastic containers and refrigerate.
The edamame I buy frozen —already shelled. Follow directions; however I don’t cook them quite as long as it says, for I like them a little ‘al dente.’ Again, I spread them out on paper toweling, cool completely, salt and refrigerate.
These keep for a couple of weeks, and are GREAT tossed onto salads. So nutritious, and we all know how good they are for us.
A salad can be as simple or creative as you wish.
One of my favorite salads is to assemble two or three types of lettuces in a large bowl and then over the top, place the following:
Tiny circles of the new miniature peppers–red, yellow and orange
Chopped red onion
Olives–I particularly like the Kalamato olives–well drained
Red and Yellow grape tomatoes. (or that tomato surprise in “vegetables’.)
Feta Cheese–broken into rather large pieces–for who wants a miserly amount of feta cheese?
Black Beans
Edamame Look for my cool idea in “miscellaneous and helpful hints’
I have found that guests love to put their own dressing over this salad, so rather than ‘dressing’ it myself, I pass a few combinations of dressing in plastic squeeze bottles with the long spouts–which makes it so easy to ‘drizzle’ thin strips of dressing over the top in creative designs. My two favorite at the moment are Green Goddess, and a good Greek dressing. But a well-aged Balsamic is rather nice if you’re counting calories.
When I make my salads for guests, I really like to assemble each one individually, cover them with dampened paper toweling, seal with plastic wrap, and refrigerate. If you have space in your fridge, it makes it so much easier than each guest having to struggle with scooping out their own salads. Also, that way, you can make each one as pretty as can be, rather than a jumble of this and that. (Or one person glomming all the cheese, or olives, and the next person left with nothing but the greens!) Just a thought—you might want to try it.
I may have to add to or ‘tweak’ this recipe in a few days, for my true recipe is in Ohio. I will try to dish this out by memory.
Ingredients:
One box Heartland Bulgher wheat
Chicken broth– Home-made or a good canned brand.
Do not even THINK of making tabbouli unless you have access to FRESH herbs. Under no circumstances are you to use dried herbs!!!!! (I will come haunt you in your sleep.)
Three or four cups tightly packed mint leaves–finely minced
One cup tightly packed Italian parsley–finely minced
About 24 or more long sprigs of chive–finely minced
Two or three bunches green onions–finely chopped
Two or three cups finely chopped and seeded plum tomatoes
EVOO
3 or 4 garlic cloves
Juice of about six lemons–strained
Salt and pepper
Technique:
Measure out the entire box of bulgher wheat. It seems to me it’s between three and four cups wheat.
Measure out the same amount of chicken broth
Put the dry bulgher wheat into a large fine sieve and run it under cold water. Let it drain in the sieve for a few minutes.
In a large sauce pan, pour the chicken broth and bring to a boil.
SLOWLY scrape the bulgher wheat into it, and stir—ONCE.
Cover and simmer on low for a few minutes. Turn the heat off, and let sit covered for about 10 minutes.
Uncover, fluff with a fork and sprinkle generously with salt and pepper.
Scoop out onto one or two cookie sheets, fluffing often to separate the grains until completely cool. (I even use clean hands to do this–carressing the grains through them to separate.
At this point you can refrigerate the grains, covered in a plastic container until ready to use.
In a blender or food processor, zap the garlic, add the lemon juice, salt and pepper, and drizzle the EVOO slowly into it with the blade running until not ompletely runny. You want it still to taste extremely ‘lemony’!
Pour the bulgher wheat back onto a couple of cookie sheets with raised sides. Mix the herbs, tomatoes and onions into it until completely mixed. Drizzle the lemon sauce into it, again, fluffing completely. Taste and adjust seasonings if necessary.
I like to pour the tabbouli into a pretty bowl, and on top place a ‘flower rose’ sculpted from a long tomato peel, and for the stem, two or three varying lengths of chive, using three or four mint leaves as the leaves.
Tabbouli will keep for three or four days, and I guarantee–if your family is like mine–they will BEG for it during the summer. It is a labor of love, however; and I always plan to devote two days for its eventual creation.
Buy yourself a good baguette–Panero’s makes a Asiago cheese baguette that’s to die for.
Slice it into slices about 1/3 inch thick on the diagonal.
In a small sauce pan, put two or three sticks unsalted butter, about six cloves of garlic, finely minced, and salt to taste. Heat until butter is completely melted.
With a pastry brush, brush the butter on both sides of the slices and place them on a cookie sheet with raised sides—so the excess butter doesn’t slip off.
Set the temperature to around 280-300 degrees in oven and place the cookie sheet on middle rack.
When the slices are light golden, turn them over and bake for the same amount of time.
You will know they’re done when you touch them and they’re firm to the touch–not spongy.
Remove to a rack to cool, and when completely cool, put in zip-lock containers.
Will keep for weeks and weeks.
These are a must floating on the Basque Fish Stew, (under ‘fish’ and ‘soups’,) or as a base for different kinds of hors ‘d oeuvres:
Baguette slice, the little tomato surprise (under ‘vegetables’), and black olives
Baguette slice, thin slices of pepperoni, your favorite cheese, chopped green onions, or carmelized onions (under ‘vegetables’)
I think you get the idea—use that great imagination of yours!
Have you ever ‘invented’ a tasty dish –by accident? Well, I did last evening.
There I was–staring at two half-filled containers of little red and yellow grape tomatoes. What was I to do?
I sliced all the tomatoes lengthwise and arranged them in one layer in a Pyrex baking dish.
Drizzled EVOO over them.
Sprinkled them with salt and freshly ground pepper.
Drizzled aged Balsamic vinegar over them.
Finely minced three cloves of garlic and sprinkled that over all.
Baked uncovered at 275/300 degrees for about a half hour. (All ovens are different—don’t let them get ‘mushy’. You still want them to look like tomatoes.)
Let me tell you—they were TERRIFIC! I’m ashamed to admit that I ate every last one.
They could be served hot, warm, or cold—as an accompaniment for any meat dish, spooned into an attractive bowl and tossed with a chiffonade of fresh basil and some fresh pearl mozzarella, added to any baguette for an appetizer, placed beside eggs for a breakfast dish, or use your own imagination. You should try this—a real unexpected treat and one I will continue to prepare and serve often!
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